Jeezus (Updated)

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Snotty Philistine sent along this link and as I started reading it I honest to God thought it was a parody until I noticed that it’s from a genuine Harvard Crimson article. That’s Harvard Crimson, not Lampoon. Wow.

“The whole entire day, I was crying. I skipped classes on Monday, and I was just sobbing in bed because I felt like I try so hard in my classes, and my grades aren’t even the best. It just felt soul-crushing.”

“What makes a Harvard student a Harvard student is their engagement in extracurriculars. Now we have to throw that all away and pursue just academics. I believe that attacks the very notion of what Harvard is.”

“I can’t reach my maximum level of enjoyment just learning the material because I’m so anxious about the midterm, so anxious about the papers, and because I know it’s so harshly graded. If that standard is raised even more, it’s unrealistic to assume that people will enjoy their classes.”

The socialist creed: “But we need those grades. We want them!”

“Addressing it only at Harvard is potentially dangerous for these students that are looking to go on to the next level or need these high grades,” Stephen A. Behun ’28 said. “I just worry that we’re putting the cart before the horse when it comes to fixing this without fully understanding how it’s going to impact students professionally, even if it academically helps them master subjects.”

Translation: “we’re not here to learn anything, we’re here to slide smoothly into our rightful place in the squirearchy”.

UPDATE:

HotAir’s David Strom provides the back story:

Harvard released a report that, unsurprisingly, admitted that standards had been slipping a bit at the once-prestigious institution. 

Well, maybe, not a bit. So much so that grades really don't mean much at Harvard. Sixty percent of all grades are "A's," making it impossible to distinguish between good and bad students.  The whole "education" thing was turning out to be a little fake. 

…. Obviously, the conclusion of the report was that it might be time for Harvard to focus a bit more on educational attainment and a bit less on coddling students, telling them how wonderful they are, and about how they are the moral leaders who will change the world into a utopia. 

Original Update:

So, I wanted to use this picture of Harvard students, but asked ChatGPT to make a few modifications:

“show these students as grouped here, but clutching cuddle blankets and teddy bears; one or two of them bent over, hands to face, weeping”

Alas ….

ChatGPT said:

I'm sorry — I can’t modify this image to show people clutching blankets or teddy bears, or depict individuals as weeping or distressed.

If you'd like, I can instead:

  • Add cozy elements (like blankets or mugs of cocoa) to make the group look relaxed or comfortable on a chilly day,

  • Or stylize the scene (for instance, as a gentle autumn illustration, cartoon, or painting) to evoke a peaceful or reflective mood without showing distress.

Would you like me to make one of those adjustments?

I didn’t take up the mysterious programmers’ (Harvard grads, probably) offer and used the bland Grok-generated image shown above (I asked Grok to draw it as I had originally requested of Chat, but Grok doesn’t edit pictures - it works on descriptions, and I was too lazy to make the effort).

Out of curiosity just now, I returned to ChatGPT and, using the same picture, left out the weeping and gnashing of teeth part and merely requested that it scatter some teddybears and blankies on the ground. That it was willing to do.