The New Yorker is still a good resource for humor, you just have to look elsewhere than the cartoons

/

we are not amused, but you will be

New Yorker staffer, Brown ‘23, provides the initial fodder, the Internet takes it from there

HOW IT STARTED:

Denim ads get people riled up. Does it all flow from the foundational contrast between starch and flesh? No doubt the minds behind the Sweeney campaign wanted to stir memories of Brooke Shields, declaring to Richard Avedon’s camera, in 1980: “You wanna know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing.” In another ad for the campaign, Shields, mock-struggling to put on a pair of skintight jeans, says, “The secret of life lies hidden in the genetic code.” The element of perversion, the artistic touch, in that Calvin Klein ad was Shields’s age, which was fifteen. Sweeney is twenty-seven. No great artist directed these commercials. The allusion is incoherent, unless, of course, we root around for other meanings, and we don’t have to search for long: genes, referring to Sweeney’s famously large breasts; genes, referring to her whiteness. (American Eagle has said that the campaign “is and always was about the jeans.”) Interestingly, breasts, and the desire for them, are stereotyped as objects of white desire, as opposed to, say, the Black man’s hunger for ass. Sweeney, on the precipice of totalizing fame, has an adoring legion, the most extreme of whom want to recruit her as a kind of Aryan princess. To them, she signals, as my colleague Lauren Michele Jackson wrote, a “rejoicing in a perceived return to a bygone beauty standard in the wake of all that overzealous feminism they blame on the left.”

A lot of people don’t like the ad campaign, and there are plenty of reasons not to: there’s no irony or camp to leaven the trashy, dog-whistle atmosphere. But the fawning from conservatives—everyone from Megyn Kelly to J. D. Vance—is reactive, precipitated by the dislike, which, yes, reached a pitch of outrage, but dissipated, fairly quickly I think, into a bored fatigue. Still, everyone wants to elect their perspective of sobriety and proportion. Stephen Colbert, who now hosts “The Late Show” with a persecuted swagger, chastised the outraged, those who see the ad as master-race propaganda, claiming that they were overreacting. Can’t you handle a stupid pun, in other words? To be clear, many of us—the Negroes, the queers, the hairy feminists, et cetera, et cetera—do not react out of a feeling of personal injury, as if the blondeness-as-beauty standard has terrorized us.

—“The Banal Provocation of Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans,” Doreen St. Félix, the New Yorker, August 2nd.

How it is going:

Once Rufo began retweeting her, St. Felix of course deleted her X account, but not before many of her tweets were screencapped. Her next article, in which she claims she was the innocent victim of a witch hunt, will be an amazing read.

As Wesley Yang tweets, “Chosen as a staff writer at the New Yorker three years out of Brown University at age 25 because it was important to be aligned with the emerging thing that was going to dominate the next decade. Who can dispute that they chose rightly?”

In a follow-up tweet, Yang adds, “Was the New Yorker merely following the trend or were they making it happen, or were they making it happen because something impelled them to do so? It’s hard to remember why it seemed to make sense to the editors of the Atlanticto hire Ibram X. Kendi when they did, why Jacob Blake’s shooting was seen as urgent national news, why any of this resulted in the Democratic party leadership kneeling in kente cloth. It’s all gone down the memory hole. But periodically some pseudo-event (like a TV commercial for a denim company) will dredge up the miasma once again.”

Rent-a-Mobs

/

will work for geritol

Crowds on Demand CEO provides insight as paid protester requests up 400% under Trump

CEO Adam Swart claims there's 'no such thing as a truly organic protest' while defending peaceful demonstration services

Crowds on Demand CEO Adam Swart told "Fox & Friends" on Friday that his company has received 400% more paid protester requests this year than during the same period last year.

Fox News' Lawrence Jones asked the Crowds on Demand CEO how much the paid protesters that he curates for political protests typically make for their services.

"We don't comment on specific protests, but generally the range can be from the low hundreds, the low one hundreds, into a few hundred," he told Jones. "It really depends on the location, the duration and any challenges, for example, cold weather or early morning. You guys at 'Fox & Friends' know all about getting up early in the morning. We tend to pay people more [for] that."

Swart's company, Crowds on Demand, states on its website that they are "best known for organizing passionate demonstrations, rallies, flash-mobs, corporate PR events, and light-hearted events such as paparazzi, brand ambassadors, and PR stunts."

The CEO noted that while there is "a lot of misinformation online" about paid protesters, the individuals employed by Crowds on Demand are only deployed for "peaceful and law-abiding protest," and are focused on "persuasion."

When asked by Jones whether protesters are paid on an hourly basis, and how much they are paid per hour, Swart didn't answer the question directly but offered some insight into what circumstances would warrant an increased pay rate.

"It's hard to give you a specific figure… If you're organizing a conservative demonstration in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, that would be a higher pay rate — or a left-wing demonstration in rural Mississippi, that would be a higher rate, because finding and identifying those people is harder and that might be a more tense environment in those particular locations, as you would imagine," he explained.

“[A] lot of times, there's a case where hippies with a trust fund are out there protesting, but conservatives are more likely to have jobs and families, so actually they require a little bit more of an incentive to turn out to a demonstration."

Jones then asked the CEO whether the people who are being paid to protest at political events are typically aligned with the causes that they are protesting for, or if they're "just out for a paycheck."

"They genuinely share these beliefs, and I'll put it this way, right? I'm asking your listeners, your viewers right now, if you got paid a couple hundred dollars, probably mostly your viewers lean conservative, would you guys go to a BLM protest for a couple hundred dollars?" he proposed. "I bet most of your viewers are shouting into their TV screens, ‘No, I would not do that’, right?"

"So whether it's conservative, we provide — there's a lot of misinformation that we only work for the left. We work for the left and the right, but always on the side of common sense and generally on the side of the underdog. So we, a lot of conservatives, use our service because, a lot of times, there's a case where hippies with a trust fund are out there protesting, but conservatives are more likely to have jobs and families, so actually they require a little bit more of an incentive to turn out to a demonstration."

Following up on Swart's response, Jones asked the CEO which side of the political aisle hires more paid protesters from his company, the right or left.

"So we tend to be hired by the oppositional party, right? So, in the sense of right now, we are getting more requests on the federal level from Democrats, as you would imagine. But for example, in liberal states such as California, we are often brought in by conservatives because we are an outside-the-box strategy, right?" Swart responded, adding that the number of paid protesters requested by either side of the aisle "depends on who's in power."

Swart was also interviewed back in June, and he had something interesting to say:

ADVOCACY GROUP CEO CLAIMS HE WAS OFFERED $20 MILLION TO RECRUIT PROTESTERS FOR ANTI-TRUMP DEMONSTRATIONS

"Interests aligned with the organizers of the July 17th movement have approached us and, in fact, we rejected an offer that probably is worth around $20 million dollars," Adam Swart, the CEO and founder of Crowds on Demand, told NewsNation’s Brian Entin in an interview that aired on Tuesday. 

Swart said Crowds on Demand — a company based in California that specializes in providing on-demand crowds for protests — rejected the offer because they didn’t think protests like the ones Good Trouble Lives On is hosting on Thursday would be effective. 

"I mean this is a nationwide thing, right? It’s not to say I would have made 20 million dollars personally, but the value of the contract would have been worth around that amount nationwide to organize huge demonstrations around the country," Swart said. 

"But personally, I just don’t think it’s effective," he added. "So it’s not, I’m not trying to call myself virtuous for rejecting it. What I’m saying is, I’m saying I’m rejecting it, not because I don’t want to take the business, but because, frankly, this is going to be ineffective. It’s going to make us all look bad." 

Bused down from Belle Haven and Christ Episcopal Church

/

You won't know if you don't ask

/

Sitting on my porch this morning while enjoying the first of my daily dozen coffees I realized that I hadn’t spotted a male hummingbird for the past week or so. Huh. So I posed the question to Gemini AI:

“Here in Maine, mid-August, I notice that I’m no longer seeing male ruby throated hummingbirds at my feeder, only females. Do the males head south first, earlier than the females, or is this just a random quirk in observation?”

Answer:

That's an excellent observation, and you've hit on a fascinating and well-documented aspect of hummingbird migration.

You are correct: adult male Ruby-throated Hummingbirds are the first to head south in the fall.

Here's a breakdown of the typical migration order:

  1. Adult Males: They are the first to leave, often as early as late July and into August. Since they are not involved in raising the young, their reproductive role is complete by this time. By leaving earlier, they reduce competition for food with the females and juveniles, who need to gain weight before their own journey.

  2. Adult Females: They follow the males, usually a couple of weeks later. They are busy raising the last brood of the season and need to stay behind to feed the young. Once their parental duties are finished, they will begin to migrate.

  3. Juveniles: The young hummingbirds are the last to leave. They need time to mature, gain strength, and build up the necessary fat reserves for their first-ever long-distance flight.

“So, what you're seeing at your feeder in Maine in mid-August is not a random quirk at all, but a predictable and natural part of the ruby-throated hummingbird's annual migration cycle. The adult males have likely already departed, leaving the females and young to continue feeding and preparing for their own journey south.”

Time to dig out my snow shovel, I suppose.

All we are saying, is give war (another) chance

/

dead flowers for your graves

David Strom:

The Pee Tape People Are Big Mad Right Now

You can't make this up. 

The Pee Tape people are back at it, very upset that Trump and Putin are speaking. They see Trump negotiating peace with Putin as the ultimate betrayal of America and NATO, which begs the question: Why are they so desperate for war in the first place?

As hundreds of thousands of people have been slaughtered in a war that Ukraine is losing, slowly and brutally, Presidentish Joe Biden and his European allies never even spoke to Putin. Their only goal was to bleed their own taxpayers dry, and to ensure that the killing in Ukraine will continue until the last Ukrainian is dead. 

Well, not the LAST Ukrainian. They still need their money laundering mechanism to work as long as possible. Forever war appears to be their goal. 

…. So the old band got back together, including, of all people, Christopher Steele, John Brennan, and the Obama/Biden team to decry the fact that Donald Trump met with Putin and treated him with respect. 

It's an interesting position to take, since none of them can explain how insulting Putin will do anything but ensure the war will continue forever. Because, in fact, their goal is to continue the war forever, and Pravda Media (how ironic in this case that I call them that) will fall in line and throw out the most absurd accusations as if they are credible.

…. I am not naive enough to believe Putin is a good guy. He isn't. He is a KGB thug--bloodthirsty and brutal. But he is also the leader of a power that has the largest nuclear arsenal in the world, controls a good chunk of the world's oil supply, and is slicing up its neighbor. The US and Europe are not going to invade Russia and replace Putin with our own puppet, so we have to deal with him, and no matter what the West does, Putin will control large parts of Eastern Ukraine and Crimea. 

Those are accomplished facts. Nobody is "handing" these regions to Russia. Russia has them and will continue to no matter what we do. The only issue is whether he has them and is also killing Ukrainians and bankrupting the West's military, or whether he has them and the war is over. 

Trump used both a carrot and a stick in Alaska. Putin arrived and walked on a red carpet, but he did so surrounded by the most powerful Air Force in the world right next to his country. Trump flew a B-2 right over Putin's head--ostensibly to honor the man, but actually reminding him who holds all the military cards. The men walked next to a line of the world's most powerful fighter jets and got into the Beast, the symbol of the most powerful country in the world. 

Everybody is freaking out that Trump didn't slap Putin in the face, but the only thing that could have accomplished would be killing all prospects for peace. And unlike Trump, they are scared to death of a resolution of the war. Not only would that give Trump a win, but it would undermine their own sources of power. 

…. Their distaste for Putin is entirely situational. They cozied up to Putin when it suited them, and use Putin as a cudgel when it suits them. 

…. That the media would trot out all the usual suspects--all of whom are proven liars--tells you everything you need to know. You would think they would find a new hoax, but Putin is what they have. 

And, it seems, that's good enough for their target audience. They don't need to convince most Americans. They just need to keep their core supporters engaged. At least that is what they think, and frankly...what else do they have?

“The key to success is if you fall, get up; fall again, get up again.” (Police officer): “Not during a field sobriety test, it isn’t”

/

Connecticut Woman Arrested For Staging Slip On “Banana Peel” In Goodwill Parking Lot

Rosalba M. Chiulli fell in a Goodwill parking lot and told the store's management that it was their fault. She claimed she slipped on a banana peel.

…. It turns out that Chiulli has a history of falling at commercial properties and trying to get a payout.

In fact, the day before her alleged fall at Goodwill, a jury had ruled against her for another "accident" at Ocean State Job Lot in Berlin, CT.

Rather than deal with all the costs of a fraudulent lawsuit, Goodwill's insurance company referred her to police.

Middletown police concluded that Chiulli ‘misrepresented the cause of the fall' and then attempted to ‘deceive and defraud Goodwill's insurance company.' With sufficient probable cause, police applied for and obtained a warrant to arrest Chiulli on insurance fraud.

She was arrested and held on a $1,000 bond.

Others have done this before, and done it better:

Crazy

/

First item: yesterday, I pulled into a parking space that was partly taken up by a car parked to my right, which, presumably had been shifted over in turn by another car in the space adjacent to it. In any event, no problem, I simply parked approximately one-foot over into the next space, and went in to do my shopping (picking up a carton of blueberries and three nectarines, if you care). I returned to find the hate message shown above stuck on my windshield. The car in the space to my right had left by this time, so this banshee must have assumed I’d parked the way I did by choice, rather than necessity. Understand, the little two-store plaza we were in has a huge amount of parking, plenty for everyone, but this woman was triggered by the sight of a “misaligned” parking job and set about to dispense her CrazyWorld Justice.

I mean, really, who cares? But imagine the fury this woman must hold in her heart all day, every day (I assume it was a woman, because a male as deranged as this would probably key the offending car and slash its tires) to actually carry around pre-printed insulting little tags like this, ready to pounce on any and all offenders of “her” parking rules. Absolutely, certifiably nuts, and possibly the second most unhappy woman on earth. The first, equally mad, is this one: